writing

Ice Blogs: The one where I did a bad.

~ Ice ~ Leave a comment

 

I missed last Friday’s post. I am fully aware that I missed this post. I was fully aware on Friday that I wasn’t posting, and then it just slipped my mind. By the time I realised that I actually hadn’t posted anything it was the weekend and I was busy pretending to have a life.

That’s my memory for you.

And it’s also a lesson. Stop putting things back until later. No time like the present.

In my pretending to function normally and have a life, we went shopping, didn’t get everything we wanted, but it was still a really nice day out, and town was quiet which means from an anxiety point of view it was great! 😀

I even did a bit of writing over the weekend, and took the story to 7000 words and the start of Chapter Three!

Stay frosty.

Ice.

Ice Blogs: Moving up and moving on

~ Ice ~ Leave a comment

Its no secret that I’m pretty pessimistic. If you’re always looking for the worst it’s harder to be disappointed. Or so I tell myself. But living this way is pretty miserable. Of course it is. It has to be. I spend my time expecting misery and I’m one of those people who believes that what you get out you get back. Not in some massively philosophical sense, but happiness breeds happiness, and therefore by default, misery breeds misery. Good customer service, talking to someone bubbly, getting a smile can put you in a good mood, it can make you feel better about yourself. I know that, it’s my job (customer service), and I’m very good at it, and putting other people in good mood, at making other people feel better about themselves.

And then after work, when I’m tired and on my own and there isn’t anyone for me to please I’m miserable. I don’t mean this in a depression way, although I have my bouts, there are people who are depressed and they have it a lot worse than me, there are people who can’t even manage a fake smile and putting on a face, and that isn’t there fault. My misery is self-induced. Like I said misery breeds misery. And I’m one of those serious, thoughtful people, who over think everything, throw in some anxiety and no self-motivation and you get me.

I can put on a very good front. Anxiety, oddly taught me to do that. I hate fuss over me. If I’m uncomfortable, I play pretend, and I play happy so people don’t know I’m anxious, until I can get to my safe place and do whatever I need to get myself back on track.

That’s why writing is so important for me. It’s allows me a break from my head, from my thoughts, from my misery. It doesn’t matter if I’m writing happy, or dark, or mother fucking disturbing, it takes me out of my head and into someone else’s. It’s escapism, and fortunately it’s cheap(ish) and I’m kind of good at it, making me think that one day my hobby could actually be a paying job.

That’s the dream, huh? A job that one actually enjoys.

I’ve written over 600 words today, and I’m still going so not sure what my total will be until later, but I’m now on chapter two, yay!

Stay frosty, guys and gals.

Ice.

Ice Blogs: And here we are again…

~ Ice ~ Leave a comment

So, it’s Monday, miserable isn’t it?

Here in the east of England, its been dark all day, sunrise was late, and it just didn’t really brighten up. It hasn’t rained (much), but its still been pretty foul.

The weekend flew by, having my folk’s dog, I knew it would. I had responsibility again. Not that I don’t normally, bills and those boring things, but it was nice being relied on again. Luckily she was picked up yesterday, so I wasn’t left sitting home by myself, or coming home to an empty house. And today I’ve been too busy to notice I’m here by myself.

The darts finished at the weekend, very disappointing compared to some of the earlier matches, but we watched it through, and now the snooker is on, something I haven’t watched in years.

I had a great start to writing this week, 569 words done before 11am. Progress!

Stay frosty.

Ice.

Ice Blogs: What a hump day!

~ Ice ~ Leave a comment

Wednesdays is usually my day off. In December short staffing at work made me step up and lose my day off, and now there’s been a rota change.  I’m not complaining, honestly. I don’t mind the change, I get a longer weekend now, its just  adjusting to losing my midweek break, and being tired from returning to work after the Christmas break.

I got my Kindle yesterday, with its very lovely case, and because of no laptop battery, I’m doing this post from there, so forgive any formatting issues. Its great. I’ve generally always been against e-readers. There’s nothing wrong with them, but I love real books, and with technology changing at the rate it is, I worry that soon, paper books will stop being a thing. Regardless, I got the fire, and I’ve no complaints so far.

I’m watching the darts at the moment, whilst writing this and working on my words for today. I really love watching the darts. It’s the new year thing in our house. We’ve done it for years, and even before, I remember watching it with my dad over dinner. There’s nothing remarkable about the darts this year (that I’ve seen) but its good background noise for me when I write. And I need background noise. I hate silence. Exams were awful for me.

Enough ramblings for today.

Stay frosty!

Ice

Ice Blogs: And now I know where I’m going… Kinda…

~ Ice ~ Leave a comment

 

So after yesterday’s post, I’m more certain of what I’m doing, with this blog, with writing, life in general.

For a long time I’ve been working on a novel, and it’s just not working. The plot doesn’t work. I keep changing it, the characters don’t want to play ball, you know, the usual writer problems.

But (I think) I’m working through the plot issues, and if I write Monday – Friday, the same as this blog, doing at least 300 words a day on the story, I’ll hit the word count I want it to be – leaving me room to cut the crap.

Back when I first started doing my uni writing modules, I used to get in this habit of doing 500 words a day. Some days were great, some weren’t, but I was always writing, and it was a good practice to get into. I’ve been writing again recently, complete and utter trash, but it’s getting me excited to work on this novel again, and that passion has been missing from my writing in a long time.

From the writing, to life; I received some of those colouring books just after Christmas. We were away with family, and some of them got some and let me colour, and I was sold. When we got home I was on Amazon and picking some out and since they arrived, I’ve just been loving them.

Short story, I’ve had some issues with anxiety recently – especially with Star Wars midnight showing, and Christmas shopping business – and I’ve had some personal downs. The colouring books give me time to turn my brain off, which isn’t a luxury I get often, and it’s so lovely. It’s even made me want to take up yoga again – the last time I got that inner peace.

Ramble over. I’m expecting my Kindle today, so we shall see how that goes, and what I have to stay about it tomorrow.

Stay frosty.

Ice.