Ice Blogs: To a quiet and sombre hump day.

 

You know, I started today with the intention of writing a post about something which I experience yesterday. It was an odd and eye opening experience for me, and I suppose it really made me realise the world we live in, and it made me forget the little bubble that I exist in.

And then I went onto twitter, and I saw the #holocaustmemorialday, and I stopped writing the blog post I had intended. Once again, everything was put into perspective.

I’m Jewish. I make no qualms about that. I’m very open about it in fact. My mother was Jewish, and she raised me to be this way. I’m not Orthodox, and actually I wouldn’t say I’m religiously Jewish, to me, it’s not like that. It’s not preaching, it’s not telling people my beliefs, it’s family. The thing that makes me Jewish isn’t going to the synagogue, or praying, or having dinner at my mum’s on Friday night. It’s the way I was brought up, the values I was instilled with, and it’s who I am, and people, mothers, fathers, children, died because of who they are. And that’s heartbreaking.

Yet, it’s been 71 years, and how much has changed? We still live in a world where people die, and are killed not because of what they are, but because of who they are. And there’s a difference.

If people ask me what I do, I’m a personal trainer. But if people ask me who I am, I’m a writer. My husband, is just that, my husband, but he’s not, not really, I would still love him as much if he weren’t my husband, he’s the person I feel most comfortable with, safest with, loved by. Who we are isn’t something that can be categorised or labelled, it’s so much more than that. People are more than labels.

I thought we would’ve learnt that by now.

Normally, I end with stay frosty. Tonight, I want you to find the person who means the most to you, and just make them smile; over the phone, via Facebook, twitter, in person, whichever way you can. Life is unpredictable, and it’s important to make sure the people who mean the most to you, know they do. And trust me, it’s nice to hear.

So stay warm, cosy, and in the thoughts of those who love you.

Ice.

Ice Blogs: Just a cheeky quicky on hump day!

Just a quick post today because I feel bad for being lazy yesterday, but I’m in a cross between my usual nocturnal habits and being tired from the early morning shifts (and I’m not taking my naps).

I’ve been writing in the evenings this week, which is great, because evenings is when I’m most productive and I can really get into the zone, not just with writing, but planning, and research and all of the other wonderful things that come with writing.

However that also means I’m writing when I would normally be blogging! So I need to her out of this habit and back into my previous weeks habits.

On the plus side, I’ve now written over 8500 words (I’m only counting the actual story).

Like I said, just a quick today, so stay frosty, but not too frosty because at the moment it’s damn cold (for England – I’m having to de-ice the car and everything)!

Ice.

Ice Blogs: The one where I did a bad.

 

I missed last Friday’s post. I am fully aware that I missed this post. I was fully aware on Friday that I wasn’t posting, and then it just slipped my mind. By the time I realised that I actually hadn’t posted anything it was the weekend and I was busy pretending to have a life.

That’s my memory for you.

And it’s also a lesson. Stop putting things back until later. No time like the present.

In my pretending to function normally and have a life, we went shopping, didn’t get everything we wanted, but it was still a really nice day out, and town was quiet which means from an anxiety point of view it was great! 😀

I even did a bit of writing over the weekend, and took the story to 7000 words and the start of Chapter Three!

Stay frosty.

Ice.

Ice Blogs: Turn to page 394

If I’d started this post this morning, it might be longer, but today I feel like we need to take a moment.

So turn your books to page 394, and raise your wands.

Stay frosty.

Ice.

Ice Blogs: Moving up and moving on

Its no secret that I’m pretty pessimistic. If you’re always looking for the worst it’s harder to be disappointed. Or so I tell myself. But living this way is pretty miserable. Of course it is. It has to be. I spend my time expecting misery and I’m one of those people who believes that what you get out you get back. Not in some massively philosophical sense, but happiness breeds happiness, and therefore by default, misery breeds misery. Good customer service, talking to someone bubbly, getting a smile can put you in a good mood, it can make you feel better about yourself. I know that, it’s my job (customer service), and I’m very good at it, and putting other people in good mood, at making other people feel better about themselves.

And then after work, when I’m tired and on my own and there isn’t anyone for me to please I’m miserable. I don’t mean this in a depression way, although I have my bouts, there are people who are depressed and they have it a lot worse than me, there are people who can’t even manage a fake smile and putting on a face, and that isn’t there fault. My misery is self-induced. Like I said misery breeds misery. And I’m one of those serious, thoughtful people, who over think everything, throw in some anxiety and no self-motivation and you get me.

I can put on a very good front. Anxiety, oddly taught me to do that. I hate fuss over me. If I’m uncomfortable, I play pretend, and I play happy so people don’t know I’m anxious, until I can get to my safe place and do whatever I need to get myself back on track.

That’s why writing is so important for me. It’s allows me a break from my head, from my thoughts, from my misery. It doesn’t matter if I’m writing happy, or dark, or mother fucking disturbing, it takes me out of my head and into someone else’s. It’s escapism, and fortunately it’s cheap(ish) and I’m kind of good at it, making me think that one day my hobby could actually be a paying job.

That’s the dream, huh? A job that one actually enjoys.

I’ve written over 600 words today, and I’m still going so not sure what my total will be until later, but I’m now on chapter two, yay!

Stay frosty, guys and gals.

Ice.

Ice Blogs: And here we are again…

So, it’s Monday, miserable isn’t it?

Here in the east of England, its been dark all day, sunrise was late, and it just didn’t really brighten up. It hasn’t rained (much), but its still been pretty foul.

The weekend flew by, having my folk’s dog, I knew it would. I had responsibility again. Not that I don’t normally, bills and those boring things, but it was nice being relied on again. Luckily she was picked up yesterday, so I wasn’t left sitting home by myself, or coming home to an empty house. And today I’ve been too busy to notice I’m here by myself.

The darts finished at the weekend, very disappointing compared to some of the earlier matches, but we watched it through, and now the snooker is on, something I haven’t watched in years.

I had a great start to writing this week, 569 words done before 11am. Progress!

Stay frosty.

Ice.

Ice Blogs: Mission Accomplished! I survived the week!

 

So, it’s been the first week back to life after Christmas, and the first week of doing this blog, and the first week of getting into writing seriously, and I’m ending this Friday feeling a lot more accomplished than I felt at the end of last year, and in a much better place than I was last Friday.

Today is now my day off, which was great, I got to lay in this morning, get some house work done, got in a bit of gaming, and did my writing for today. Also, a nice treat, my folks are away for the weekend (I hope they have a great time), so we’re dog sitting.

There’s been a real void in my life since we no longer have my dog, and while we’re not ready to have another dog yet, having my parent’s dog every so often really lifts my mood. I’m not sure how I’ll be Monday when she goes, probably very lonely, but it’s really great to have a dog in the house again.

Staying positive, I’ve written 3023 words since I’ve started this thing, which is good. I’m averaging just over 500 words a day, which is great, the story is playing ball and I’m loving writing with these characters again. I didn’t realise how much I missed them. And I love actually writing, pen to paper, as you can see.

I hope you all have a good weekend, and I’ll probably be back to moaning again on Monday.

Stay frosty.

Ice.

Ice Blogs: And I’m back to the whining.

 

So it’s late (I’m old okay, and I was up very early for work this morning), and my back hurts – and I mean hurts. It just aches. I feel like I need to lay in a bath forever, or have a massage, or a jacuzzi, or something. I’m at work for another few hours, and I’ve run out of food and coffee, and I just can’t wait until I can get home and sleep.

Writing is going really well, I’m getting back into it, which is really nice, the story seems to be playing ball at the moment and so I’m just going with it, until the characters get stroppy or the plot gets loopholey. Then I’ll sit back and plan.

I’m so in the zone, that I’ve picked out a few shorts that I’m going to work on with my spare inspiration. I’m not sure if I’m going to edit, re-write or start something new yet, but I’d like to be getting a short done a month along with my 300-words-a-day novel.

Anyway, I’m miserable, and I hurt so I’m going to suffer at work for a little longer, and stop complaining so much.

Stay frosty.

Ice.

Ice Blogs: What a hump day!

Wednesdays is usually my day off. In December short staffing at work made me step up and lose my day off, and now there’s been a rota change.  I’m not complaining, honestly. I don’t mind the change, I get a longer weekend now, its just  adjusting to losing my midweek break, and being tired from returning to work after the Christmas break.

I got my Kindle yesterday, with its very lovely case, and because of no laptop battery, I’m doing this post from there, so forgive any formatting issues. Its great. I’ve generally always been against e-readers. There’s nothing wrong with them, but I love real books, and with technology changing at the rate it is, I worry that soon, paper books will stop being a thing. Regardless, I got the fire, and I’ve no complaints so far.

I’m watching the darts at the moment, whilst writing this and working on my words for today. I really love watching the darts. It’s the new year thing in our house. We’ve done it for years, and even before, I remember watching it with my dad over dinner. There’s nothing remarkable about the darts this year (that I’ve seen) but its good background noise for me when I write. And I need background noise. I hate silence. Exams were awful for me.

Enough ramblings for today.

Stay frosty!

Ice

Ice Blogs: And now I know where I’m going… Kinda…

 

So after yesterday’s post, I’m more certain of what I’m doing, with this blog, with writing, life in general.

For a long time I’ve been working on a novel, and it’s just not working. The plot doesn’t work. I keep changing it, the characters don’t want to play ball, you know, the usual writer problems.

But (I think) I’m working through the plot issues, and if I write Monday – Friday, the same as this blog, doing at least 300 words a day on the story, I’ll hit the word count I want it to be – leaving me room to cut the crap.

Back when I first started doing my uni writing modules, I used to get in this habit of doing 500 words a day. Some days were great, some weren’t, but I was always writing, and it was a good practice to get into. I’ve been writing again recently, complete and utter trash, but it’s getting me excited to work on this novel again, and that passion has been missing from my writing in a long time.

From the writing, to life; I received some of those colouring books just after Christmas. We were away with family, and some of them got some and let me colour, and I was sold. When we got home I was on Amazon and picking some out and since they arrived, I’ve just been loving them.

Short story, I’ve had some issues with anxiety recently – especially with Star Wars midnight showing, and Christmas shopping business – and I’ve had some personal downs. The colouring books give me time to turn my brain off, which isn’t a luxury I get often, and it’s so lovely. It’s even made me want to take up yoga again – the last time I got that inner peace.

Ramble over. I’m expecting my Kindle today, so we shall see how that goes, and what I have to stay about it tomorrow.

Stay frosty.

Ice.